It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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