I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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