i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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