Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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