I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
