dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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