Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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