She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
