I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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