We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I love you. Go after that dick
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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