I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
