Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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