I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
