You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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