New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
