whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This baby is an asshole
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
