you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
