I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
