DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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