I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I look better un-naked...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
