I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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