I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
