I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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