i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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