I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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