I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
