he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
