Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize