thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
