Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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