Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
