Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
