If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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