just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
