Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
