DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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