...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
