How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I love having hate sex.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
