Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm like, not good at living.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
