I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
