K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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