omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
