We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
