oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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