i barfeds in our rink
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
