i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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