ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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