I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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