She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
