Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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