shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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