She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize