u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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