drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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