I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
