I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
