No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
