I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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