how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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