And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
