The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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