i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
