I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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